Moving Right Along

Dear friends, I apologize for not posting an update here on my blog since our initial announcement (see here)! If you are a follower or mine or Travis's on Facebook, you know I haven't been remiss in posting updates of our progress in getting our foster care license, but I know there are some of you who are not part of the "Facebook world" who would like to know what's going on! Here's a bit of a timeline of what we've accomplished since our orientation in March:

PAPERWORK. 

SO. 

MUCH. 

PAPERWORK. 

And from what I've heard, it's just the beginning, so we better get used to it. We got right down to this first stack of paperwork, and let me tell you, it's intense. Everything from "what's your primary language" (easy!) to "describe how you will support and participate in a child's safe reunification with his/her parents or guardians" (not so easy!). But we press on. We've been filling it out in stages, and we are in view of the finish line. Yay!

Our first completed paperwork went in within a couple of days of receiving the packet. The official application was pretty simple, and got the ball rolling. Dropping that envelope in the mail felt like letting go of life as we know it.

Soon after we submitted the initial paperwork, we had to go and get fingerprinted! Don't worry, we passed.

One of the next things we did was paint the "baby room"! We chose a light shade of gray with a dark gray contrast wall, hoping it would be a good "jumping-off point" for a gender-neutral woodland animal themed room.

THE CONTINUING SAGA OF THE PAPERWORK.

CPR and first aid training was next! We took a day-long class in Colville and got our two-year certification. It was a lot of info to take in, and practicing on the dummy was kind of interesting, but hopefully our little world is now a safer place.

Woah! This huge box arriving on the front porch really made things seem real! We ordered a special convertible crib from Walmart.com. Our license will hopefully be for children 2 and under, so it will be great to have a crib that can adapt, depending on what age we are placed with.

Halfway through April, my parents came to visit for a very special reason- to see me, of course!  :) Well, that too, but really they came because I asked my very talented Dad to paint a special mural on the wall of our nursery. I am so blessed that he agreed!

Fortunately, my little brother also came and was a big help to Travis- putting together the crib, as well as installing safety catches on all the kitchen cupboards and making sure our outlets were protected. We now also have a baby gate installed on the stairs too!

Daddy finished this beautiful mural in just two days and I am in love with it! It was just what I had envisioned, and I can't wait for a precious little one to fall asleep in this peaceful environment. I am convinced they will be able to feel the love that it was painted with.

In other news, I had my required physical (Dr. said I was "a healthy 28 yr. old female"!), including the required TB test, flu shot, and Tdap (can you say "sore arm"??) and guess what? I don't have TB! Yay! Travis goes in for his physical and shots on Monday.

Most recently, we had our first in-home visit with our licensor. She was down to earth, relaxed, and kind, which put us at ease. After going over our home for a safety inspection, she didn't tell us much that we weren't expecting, which was a big relief. We have a few things to work on, but nothing major. Whew! Last night we had our first Caregiver Core Training session, which was great! Our trainers are sweet women with great heart and humor and I know we will enjoy the rest of the sessions. Since our group is so small they estimate being able to finish this first module in only two days instead of three, which would be great! Our second module of training (another three days- or maybe two!) is scheduled for the end of this month. 

So what's left? A bit more paperwork, Travis's medical, finishing training, and one final in-home visit. And in the meantime we continue to ready the baby room and purchase a few things (whatever we can that isn't too age-specific). Then? Then we wait for our licensor to write her home study, wait for approval, and...then we wait for a placement! This whole process has really served to get us excited! We are still super nervous and at times horrendously frightened, but never have we lost the sense of peace that we are exactly where God wants us to be. Thank you ever so much for continuing to pray with us as we make decisions, answer questions, and forge ahead. Your support and encouragement means the world to us!

Trusting God When the Answer Isn't What You Want or Expect

When Travis and I were engaged and first married, we had many conversations about family planning (as most couples do!). God was tugging on our hearts to surrender that area of our lives, like everything else, to Him. To let Him be our family planner. Call it "family un-planning" if you like- we were convinced we were prepared to take whatever He would bring. Which, of course we thought would be children. Immediately and in great numbers! That was the issue of faith we wrestled with- trusting God with however many kids He would give us (which, of course, we assumed would be many since we weren't going to do anything to prevent it!).

What never crossed our minds was that God might choose to plan our family in a way other than showering us immediately with numerous children (what we wanted). Over the last nearly five years He has done exactly the opposite. How many times our hearts have cried "when we said we would trust You with our family planning we thought that would mean children! Not this emptiness and waiting!" Were we prepared to trust Him when He answered our trust with what we did not want or expect?

The last few months the Lord has been showing me that I need to trust Him with our family "un-planning" when He doesn't give children for all the same reasons we were prepared to trust Him if He did.

One of the main reasons is that we believe God is sovereign over all things, including the womb (see Gen. 20:18; 29:31; 30:22, 1 Sam. 1:5, 6; Psalm 103:19; Luke 1:31). While I had always believed this, I see particularly now not only at the fact that God has the power to open the womb, but that He also has the power to close it! If He is the God of all things, this too is in His control.

If I believe that God is in control and that He is good, doesn't it follow that I should trust Him when He gives what I expect and when He doesn't? My faith is strengthened as I realize more and more that this period of time while we are waiting on God for His timing and His ways (and experiencing a perhaps temporary "no") is all in His control. It's all part of a bigger plan.

We are still trusting God to plan our family. We just know now that that may mean no children, one child, a few children, many children, adopted children, foster children...our God is creative and good and knows just what we need.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:9

Oh, the adventure of a surrendered life! May I have the faith-strength and endurance to run the race set before me as God surprises me at every turn!

Oh Lord, you know my faith is so weak. It is easy to trust You when I think I know what the outcome will be. Please grow my faith as I try to trust You when the answer is different than I want or expect. 

Our New Adventure in Waiting

Dearest friends and family, we want to open our hearts to you and share with you something God has been doing in our lives and a new adventure that is opening before us.

We are on the road to adoption! Before we get to specifics, though, let me give you a little backstory...

Many of you know that ever since our marriage {almost} five years ago, one of our greatest desires has been to have children. Waiting through these years has proved to be a daily challenge of our trust in God and His plan for us. As Proverbs 13:12 truthfully says,

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick..."

 Our hearts have indeed been "sick" with longing for this most precious desire to be fulfilled. But we have also been growing. We feel that in the midst of all the tangled emotions (and there are many), God has grown a contentment in us and a trust in His time and His way. While we don't profess to have perfect trust around the clock (we don't), we do praise God for His work in our hearts.

So what have we been doing? Well, praying, certainly. We have also been the route of doctors, assuring ourselves that there is nothing out of whack that we (or they) can't fix. So far as we can tell, there is no real diagnosable issue with either of us. For this we praise the Lord, but it also leaves us scratching our heads as to why conception isn't happening. More than ever, we are confident that God is working on His own timetable and in His own way. On a missionary pastor's salary, we cannot afford the more expensive and complicated types of fertility treatments, but after considering prayerfully, we are also convinced that for us, that is just not the way we should go. Our hearts are tender toward adoption for many reasons, not the least of which is that it is a perfectly beautiful illustration of our relationship with God and our adoption into His family (Ro. 8:14-16; Gal. 4:4-6)!

Which brings us to the present. Or nearly so. About 2 years ago, we began to pray and think about adoption. The Lord has been gently tugging our hearts in that direction ever since. One major way was a situation that happened about a year ago. Some of you may know that we were presented with an adoption opportunity through some friends "out of the blue." We scrambled to find a lawyer, flew through the paperwork, got our home study finished and made a trip to OR to meet the mother. And then it suddenly fell through. We were confused, our hearts were heavy, but we felt peace. God was, as always, in control. But what was it all for?

After the ordeal we felt tired. So we waited some more. We pursued some other options with our doctor, and waited some more. About a year. And that does bring us to the present.

A couple of weeks ago, we made the decision to meet once more with the lawyer we found last year. During the whirlwind of that time, he had given us applications for his private matching "pool" just in case the other didn't work out. Those applications had been sitting on our dresser for a year before we finally brushed the dust off of them and filled them out. A private adoption through this attorney (who proved himself to be intelligent, perceptive, and kind through last year's situation) would cost about 1/5 the price of an agency adoption (which can be upwards of $25,000). One of the main things we talked to him about was how to find a birthmother. While our lawyer will be on the lookout, since this is not an agency, part of the job of finding a match is up to us.

That's where you come in! We have been encouraged to spread the word far and wide that we are on an adventure to find our baby! If you know of anyone who is pregnant and looking to put their baby up for adoption, please contact us as soon as possible. Our preference is to adopt an infant (newborn up to a few months old) within Washington state (less costly and complicated), but we're open to discussing other possibilities. If you have any questions whatsoever, please contact us (if you don't have our contact info, leave a comment on this blog post and we'll get in touch)! We'd love to talk to you more about it.

The most helpful way you can be a part of our new journey is to PRAY! We want to be moved along by God's hand in all of this and want Him to be the one to find us the perfect match. It may take time. We may be waiting awhile...but we've been in training for that, haven't we? Please pray for us to have patience and wisdom and to be prepared for whatever this crazy exciting journey is going to look like. We are praying for the second half of Proverbs 13:12 to be true in our lives:

"...but desire fulfilled is a tree of life." 

Please pray for God to fulfill the desires He has given us as we delight ourselves with Him and the ways He chooses to work in our lives (Ps. 37:4).

We are so excited to see what God has for us in this new adventure! It is an adventure in waiting and trusting and hoping and we expect to find challenge and frustrations and growth opportunities at every turn. We are overjoyed to think about the possibility of one day (soon, perhaps?) receiving a precious little one into our arms. Thank you for your willingness to stand with us and be on the lookout for us and PRAY with us! We cherish each of you and want you to know that God has blessed us greatly with your friendship.

Note: Thanks to our dear friend Kathy for taking these beautiful pictures to illustrate our special journey! If you'd like to see more photos from our shoot, please check out our Facebook album!